Sunday, October 11, 2009 :)
Realisation...
This morning I suddenly had a very random, and shocking realisation. I think it was when Amanda was praying before beginning the Bible Study, or when I was in the taxi on the way to church. I can't remember when I realised what I realised.
Okay, so I highly doubt it was my own realisation, but probably a realisation that Somebody bigger helped me to realise.
The Realisation? It's this:
Life on earth is temporary, fleeting, even, in light of eternity to come, so why is it that I, and millions of people around me, am spending so much time carving out a name for myself, striving for better grades and being a great and inspiring leader to prove my worth, when this life is going to end soon and all that is gonna come to nothing?
Maybe the realisation is also in light of the skit I saw on the Doulos yesterday. Life is so much more than studies, work, sleep, food. Yet the life in Singapore revolves predominantly around studies and work, there's no denying that. People, even (and especially) Christians, are the first to push aside service in Church and relationships with family and friends so that they can study/work and climb up the corporate ladder/be the best in school/get 4As.
I actually find it very sad. When lives that are meant to mean so much more are trivialised so much so that people find life meaningless. When God has given each and every one of us a purpose on this earth - and it's not to become the top student in MJC, or the most renowned CEO in Singapore, or the most famous Hollywood celebrity.
It's ironic how our view of life can become so hazy, how our purpose in life can become so unclear, when it really is that simple - to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Forever starts now. It started before we were around, really.
I've been feeling more and more strongly about serving God on the Doulos. Reaching out to the people God loves, drawing close to Him and giving my life to serve Him. I actually don't even mind going for 2 years after I get my results, then coming back later to go to Uni.
Yet sometimes I question my own intentions - is it God's calling, or is it my own desire to have "the experience of a lifetime" on the Doulos, a ship I've kinda grown up with, whose people I've grown to love.
I need to pray. A lot. I don't need to know now what God has in store for me; I just need the assurance that the decisions I make will be what God wants for me and not what I want for myself.
What, ho, what, ho, what, ho!6:08:00 PM
Sunday, August 30, 2009 :)
Happy 18th birthday! =D
Okay so basically I just wanna thank everyone who's made this birthday a lovely, long one! :) In order of the celebratants!?! Celebrations-people. Hahaha :)
1. My closest relatives (other than my own family), Sar Tun, Sar Ee, Hannah and Nathan!
Thank you Sar Tun and Sar Ee for always being so accommodating and offering me food so yummy that I eat till I sleep! =) And for Hannah and Nathan, thank you for being my closest, cutest, funniest cousins! Although you guys tickle me every single week and thus cause me to make strange sounds, I still love you guys very very much :)
2. My dearestest family! =)
Not that any of you other than Justin would read this but nevermind :) Thank you Mummy for suffering so much giving birth to this big fat hairy baby, I know you almost died with this huge lump of thing being born from you. Thank you Daddy for listening to Mummy scream her head off such that the nurses had to ask her to scream softer. No wonder now every time I talk to you you don't seem to hear me! Thank you Cor Cor for loving me so much, I won't be such a lovely, nice, sweet, kind, caring, gentle, demure girl if not for your love for me!P (kidding about the lovely nice sweet kind caring gentle demure part. ok not kidding)
3. My dear Glenn! =)
Thank you for always being there for me and putting up with my crankiness when I've just woken up or when you've called me to wake me up, my moodiness when I'm stressed with work, and thank you for always making me =D with your stupid faces and retardedness which never fails to amuse me! I love spending time with you and I'm very thankful to God that He's blessed me with you :) How we've grown over the years :)
4. My darling girls from Hai Sing :)
Thank you so much for spending so much time and effort getting all the presents and for planning the dinner and everything! :) I really enjoy spending time with you guys, recollecting our funny memories in 3/4E1 and just tormenting Amandaballz with the idea of being married to Shermine............... HAHAHA. It's still so funny. I love you guys loads and I'm so glad to have met you guys in class -hugs-
5. My damn cool 08S204 babies!
I love you guys like ____! Haha kidding I just love you guys a lot. Cannot emo around you all one leh! All of you put together are a bunch of whacky, crazy, hilarious people and I love you guys so much! I love hanging out with you guys :) Thanks for the awesome time at Simpang and walking Dina home and trying to be quiet outside the house in case the Landlord kicked her out into the longkang (to live with TKC). Just talking rubbish with you guys is so so fun :)
PS: To my evil twin 28 Aug baby TKC, I'm glad to have you as my evil twin! =D Don't drink anymore, I'll make sure I give you a punch if you kena hangover again!!!
Okay so that's about it with the celebrations. Haha. Thank you to all the following people for your lovely sms-wishes! In order of sms appearance...
Glenn, Mr Chee, Sarah (MJC), Xioa Hui, Josiah, Amandaballz (who asked me to have a ball-rocking day HAHAHA), Fazall (who smsed me from behind me =P), Shu Ying, Melissa, Pei Hsin, Amanda (KPC), Wei Neng, Mabel, Daryl bong!, Jess (who smsed me from Melbourne awww hugs!!), Charmaine, Kimmy, Jia Yun, Yee Kei, Emerlyn, Priscilla, Jane, Terence the YSA =P, Shaun (MJC), Gan Ma, Desireems, Dawn-a-cabona, Sarah smith, Lippy, Ellia my dear Ah Bu Chia!! =D, Candy, Samuel Officer Soon, Jingaling Ming and Sofiah! =)
Thanks to all of you for your lovely wishes and for remembering! I love you all!
And no forgetting the facebook wishes... Thanks to all of you guys too! Many surprise-inducing wishes from people I haven't seen/talked to in a long time so I'm so glad I'm still remembered! Like William Adiputera Dharma!! =D I miss you a lot (not like you are reading this) so I was really glad to receive a birthday wish! =)
PS: You can go see my wall to see who wished me! Lol. In case you forgot you did, I'm thanking you. =D
And one more huge huge thank you to all those who bought stuff and took the effort to shop/make stuff/plan surprises/celebrations and all!
1. Thank you to the Huis for the lovely card and ang pao! And to Cor Cor for the lovely chocolate/biscuit thingy which I have yet to eat!
2. Thank you to Jocelyn, Rachelle, Shermine, Amandaballz, and Jollyn for the bag and all the nice stuff inside! I LOVE THE SHADES! =D =D
3. Thank you to my saikang warriors, Khye An, Domdom, Koong Jye! And + Wei xiang! Thank you for the super funny card and beary bank! Hahaha. I will definitely store my fond memories of us inside! =D And I will remember to recite the saikang pledge instead of the singapore pledge during morning assembly =P
4. Thank you to my dear Marilyn for the lovely Animal! bag and hearty bank and notebook! =) Really really sweet of you my dear :) I've really enjoyed all our holidays together too, washing out smelly smells from seashells... Hahah~ =)
5. Thank you Nana and Mr Chee for the perfume, duckie pen and... towel? Hahaha. =D You two make my life in school much more enjoyable! =)
6. Thank you Glenny for the Taylor Swift CD I've wanted for sooo long! =) and for your love! hehe =)
7. Thank you Amanda and Kimmy for the super super super super nice bag! I REALLY LOVE IT LOADS =D Hehe =)
8. Thank you Hannah for the tiara-like ring! =D It's super sweet!!! =D
9. Thank you choir kias for the super cute card (i know XH you made it!! =D) And for the skittles! I shall try not to die of diabetes finishing it!! =D
10. Thank you Muu, Rena, Shu ying, Fififirdaus, Hoa Kiat, Lippy, (I'm sorry but I donno who shared the present) for the HOW TO BE A BIMBO KIT! =D which means I'M NOT A BIMBO YET!!! =D =D =D Hehehe um I tried the underwear. It fits leh. HAHAHAHA. =P
11. Thank you Evil Twin TKC for drawing the very nice portrait of Glenny and I despite being hungover =D It still looks 500 times nicer than what I would have drawn while sober :)
Okie :) so thanks once again to everybody not just for your presents/wishes, but really for loving me as a friend and being such a wonderful friend to me :) I love you all very much :)
And finally finally finally, thank you God for letting me be born into this world, so that I can experience the joy of having a relationship with You and knowing You! Thank you for loving me more than anyone in the world ever could! Thank you for being here for me no matter how moody or cranky or sinful I am, and for forgiving me despite the fact that I hurt you every single day :) I love you! =D I shall be waiting patiently for the day when I get to Heaven and give you a huge hug!!!!! =D =D =D =D
What, ho, what, ho, what, ho!9:40:00 PM
Saturday, August 22, 2009 :)
This shall be a random post! =)
I was just thinking about something my teacher in P5 told the class. Mrs Low (pronounced as "Lao") taught us Math and Science - interesting how primary school teachers can teach you like, every subject =X So anyway, the thing I remember is this.
"Good teachers are stupid people. If they're not stupid, then they can't explain properly and you won't understand."
I used to think that was ridiculous, but I now realise how true that is. Good teachers aren't stupid, they're just not brilliant, ingenious, or exceptionally smart. To be able to explain concepts well, they'd have to have worked out those thoughts themselves to be able to explain it to students who don't catch on fast enough. The teachers I know who are brilliant in their fields can't teach for nuts. Everything becomes so cheem and complex and nobody understands what they talk about. Mmm.
Me no brilliant = GOOD TEACHER =D =D =D
Anyway, I was reading "Princess to Princess" or something (I just went to look at the title 20 seconds ago and I've forgotten it =X) for devotion and something kinda struck me. It was basically talking about God's protection of Hagar, Abraham's/Sarah's mistress who gave birth to Ishmael. The line that hit me...
Her faith was weak, and she didn't even look around for God, because she was more focused on her circumstances.
I think I tend to do that, quite a lot. Get distracted by things I go through and try to rely on my own wisdom. Mmm.
Oh and Jing Ming uploaded a whole album of Hai Sing Choir photos on Facebook! Totally lovely :) I really miss Hai Sing Choir. It's really a family there. I kinda miss it now really, I enjoyed practices and the people so much :)
And lastly, I've got this new-found favourite song. Have yet to memorise the lyrics. :) And me gonna watch "Up!" soon =) Yay yummy yummy :D
Breathe - Taylor Swift
I see your face in my mind as I drive away
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people, And sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time
Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around
And we know it's never simple, Never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe without you
But I have to breathe
Without you, But I have to
Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
But people are people, And sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out
It's two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy,
Easy for me.
PS: The tune's really nice =D
What, ho, what, ho, what, ho!11:08:00 PM
Thursday, August 20, 2009 :)
Hey there! Been about a month and a half and many things have happened! :)
I guess I shall just blog about the most significant weekend, where I met an amazing guy by the name of Mike Hack (same awesome initials as yours truly!)
080809 was Missions Fest and Mike Hack spoke. The stations and all were pretty cool, but all paled in comparison to the night session. Was pretty overwhelmed by everything, though I'm not too sure what. I guess I finally realised how much there was to life than just studies. Life is called "life" simply because it IS about life! It seems so easy for us to forget that life is for living, not just for striving and striving for grades/career/personal goals.
Yeah, I actually don't think personal goals are all that great. Because you can focus on them so much that you neglect what's really important in life.
So this Mike Hack, he really got me back on track in life. Finally been able to rely on God much more than I used to; finally been able to set aside much more time for God than I used to; finally been able to live for more than just my studies; finally been able to do my best in my school work, but not for myself.
And to me, that's really significant. In a million ways I'm far from being a "Christian", but I'm only human. Humans make mistakes. But I've realised the importance of not wallowing in guilt about those mistakes, but letting God help me to be more like Him :)
And I really can't wait to go onto the Doulos =D
So anyway, study break's coming soon and so is my birthday YAY =D So is TKC =) I realised that TKC makes me laugh like Justin does. Heh :) We were skipping to and from the toilet.... HAHAHA. Different toilet, of course. He went to the girls one and me to the guys' :)
skipping is fun, by the way. You should try skipping to the toilet with your good friends :) It's quite therapeutic especially when you're very pensive/emotional/troubled! :)
On another note, thanks bro for reminding me just to pray and leave it to God :)
to all those who are studying, JIA YOU =) God bless and do your best for God! :) <3
What, ho, what, ho, what, ho!10:26:00 PM
Saturday, July 04, 2009 :)
HELLO I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!
I know you've missed me, I've pretty much been missing myself too :) No la, just been missing my blog. Lol.
Been having exams the past week, so let me sum it up for you.
Monday: Lit = bad, Maths = quite bad but not that bad
Wednesday: Physics = worse than bad
Thursday: Chemistry = not too bad
Friday: Maths = worse than "quite bad but not that bad"
Sigh. I'm pretty sick of studying already. So I'm pretty much just slacking today, right smack in the middle of exams. Mmm... Better now than never right? Since... (brace yourself for a long string of complains)
THE STUPID CHEM DEPARTMENT IS GOING THROUGH CHEMISTRY PAPER CORRECTIONS AFTER THE LAST PAPER ON THURSDAY!!!!!!! Like what the.... right? The announcement induced a verrrrrrrry louuuuuuuuuuuuud "WAH LAO" from me. Sorry, but it was on instinct. There were 2 Chemistry teachers standing behind me =X Good thing they didn't say anything/scold me/give me 0 for my paper. I think they knew everyone would be bui song, anyway. Zzz.
To make things worse, WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL ON FRIDAY!!!!!!! (the day after our exams end) Like what the... again!!! Cruel, evil, school you know? Dina predicts that they'll probably bombard us with homework on Friday, so that our whole weekend will be taken up. I think she's right, judging by how ridiculous MJ can be -_- They take up a week and a day of our holidays, expect us to finish studying the whole syllabus (stupid kia see school has finished the whole syllabus which actually is a good thing la hor) and then don't even give us ONE DAY OFF after the exam. SO cruel. That's why I have to slack today. Hngh.
That's why, I'm going to become a Chemistry teacher in MJC and make sure students have A LIFE. -_- zzzzz...... Maybe the Chem department will find my blog and then show the whole LT my post? Hahaha. Whatever. Cannot deny the fact that they're super hardworking though. Maybe students should encourage their teachers to relax =D Then we can relax too. Wahahahhaa. Ok I shall go start a revolution! =D
One more thing to complain about. I think some idiot like, ate 34082y910353 ONIONS BEFORE THE MATHS PAPER LA! It was super cold in the hall, and this particular idiot kept farting!!!!!! No sound, just smell. The typical silent killers! I seriously wanted to scream "STOP FARTING LA!!!!!!!" cos it was so super smelly and I had to hold my breath like, donno how many times. Let me describe how it went. PFft.
There I was, minding my own business, doing my paper, thinking of the possible solution to such a tedious question when suddenly... It came without warning, nobody would have expected it. It took my breath away... I found myself choking on methane gas! What else could I do but suffer in silence and hold my breath... After around what seemed like minutes, I found the strength to breathe again. The smell had diffused into the cold, hostile air of deafening silence. Little did I know what was to come... So I continued, doing my paper as best as I could and (return to top of paragraph) x 10++
Seriously man. Totally disgusting. When I told Justin, he told me I should've shouted, "WHAT THE FART!" hahahaha. Sigh.
I was about to write "I shall stop complaining" but I realised the next thing that I wanted to write about was my opinion (and utter disgust) with the behaviour of Singaporeans. Hahaha which is complaining also right? -_-" Nationalist against my own nationality? Hmmm... hahaha.
In my humble opinion, Singaporeans are really selfish, myself included. I'm disgusted with how they behave, yet I'm even more disgusted when I find myself starting to behave like them. It's as if everyone is just fighting for the best for themselves. It's so annoying. I can't stand it when I'm coming out of the train and inconsiderate Singaporeans are waiting to push their way in. With this H1N1 fever going on, I've deliberated the possibility of me stepping out of the door into a mob of annoying Singaporeans waiting to shove their way in and SNEEZEEEEEEE AND COUGH (without covering my mouth or whatsoever)! Not that I'm sick, I'd just like a larger radius around me so I can walk straight out without pushing my way through a smelly bunch of office workers/aunties/uncles aka kiasu Singaporeans. Students are, ironically, more gracious. I think most young people like me (I have yet to reach the big 2 so I'm young hahahahahha the rest of you can go for the anti-ageing carnival =D ok la 2_ is still considered young la =D) can't stand such annoying behaviour too. Pfft.
I think I shall stop complaining. Complain queen leh. Come here to blog my complaints only -_-
On a lighter note, EMILY IS BACK!!!!!! =D =D Will be meeting up with her and Charmaine on Sunday night, along with some others (not sure who they will be yet). We surprised Rena on her birthday and had fun at Pasir Ris Park :) Apparently her mum told her the surprise -_-" Surprised Shermine too during the holidays =) JESS IS BACK TOO =D =D hahaha we went to Marina Barrage which was really nice, but ants-infested after 7pm. That was quite traumatising, but we saw 4 couples taking wedding photos. :) Made me wanna take my wedding photos too hahahaha. Wait long long ah -_-" And saw this SUPER CUTE LITTLE BOY called Jadon... hahaha. No, not Marilyn's brother, but this other little boy who kept giggling and smiling and was so fascinated by Shermine's 7 heart-shaped helium balloons =) And Amanda looks so pretty! So much more feminine after her operation :) and Kim owes me a treat to Sakae and I can't wait :) Hahaha. I'll probably pay for myself though. Lol.
Gonna watch Ice Age 3 with my family later :) Have I said that already? haha. I can't wait! It looks really good. And it's been a long time since my family's gone out for a movie together =) Really glad mummy's coming too! Yay! hhahaha.
Ok to end off, you HAVE to watch this. It's the cutest Youtube video I've ever seen. It's only 16 seconds so you'd better watch it :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzRH3iTQPrk
This one's pretty funny too. HAhaha. It's 17 seconds :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtAPjxORwiE
Ok toodles ;)
What, ho, what, ho, what, ho!4:14:00 PM
Wednesday, May 06, 2009 :)
So many things to blog about so I'll just make everything short and sweet. =) I hope. ha.
MJCHOIR GOT GOLD WITH HONOURSSSS =D =D =D =D
Congrats choir, you really deserve it :) Really proud of all of you and it was an honour to sing with you guys :) Continue to make the music! :)
(okay that was brief -_-)
Anyway, I realised my brother is really an encouragement to me :) Was reading his blog and realised how much God is working in his life and working things out for him :) Oh btw he came down to VCH to support the choir =) told you my brother's the best =D =D back to the point. I think his testimony's really an encouragement to me. I know God's working in my life as He is in my brother's, but maybe my eyes aren't opened to seeing how he's at work in my life. Gotta spend more time with my Saviour. :)
Was reading another girl's blog and I started tearing. I always tear when I read it. I miss her, haven't seen her in church in a long time, yet by reading her blog I know that she's still safely in God's arms. If you're reading this, I want you to know that I'm praying for you, and that you've been a mighty great encouragement to me, and to many others too. Even though you may not realise it, God is using you in great ways to bring glory to Him =) -hugs-
I should learn to start appreciating, and stop complaining and grumbling. I really must stop. I cannot take everything for granted.
And I think "friends" who backstab/spread rumours about other "friends" are so... _______ I don't even know how to describe it. I just feel so hurt for my friend who's being backstabbed. Argh. Why are humans so... disgusting. I guess it's simply cos we're human.
And one last thing, I've gotta learn to stop trying to control your life. It's your life and I love you the way you are. So please remind me to stop asking you to live your life like I live mine. Because I love you because you are you, not because you're me. I promise I'll always be here for you no matter what.
Why am I so emo now.
What, ho, what, ho, what, ho!7:11:00 PM
